Hello Empowered Wayers!
When I was five years old, my brother and I wanted to learn how to ride our bicycles without training wheels. When our dad took off the small wheels that had held us upright, he stopped and asked, “Are you sure?” We both nodded and couldn’t wait for the morning.
The next day, our mom took us to the curb in front of our house. We each had our bikes poised and ready to take off, but she wanted to teach us one at a time. My brother climbed on his bike and after some pushing from behind and encouragement from us, he wobbled down the street. As he picked up speed, he straightened and sat tall. The grin on his face was enough for me to cry, “Now it’s my turn!”
But she had to go back inside the house…something about something. All I knew was that he got to take that next significant step forward on the journey to more…and I had to wait. We went back inside, and I just couldn’t handle it.
My five-year-old emotional self couldn’t see through the tears. Why did he always go first? What was more important than me learning to ride my bike? The questions were making me more upset because I didn’t have any answers.
When I finally calmed down and took a deep breath, something broke through my misery. I had a sense of loving energy surrounding me. One minute, I felt lost, rejected, and alone...and the next minute, I experienced love, protection, and safety.
I grabbed my brother, and we went outside to our bikes, still leaning against the curb. I climbed on my bike and asked him to push me. He looked a bit worried but he could see the determination in my eyes and knew better than to argue. He ran along beside me, pushing as I pedaled until I broke free.
I believed I could fly!
I have reflected many times on that moment of being lost in myself, alone, angry and frustrated, then feeling surrounded by love. That loving energy blasted my little self apart, and I stepped into a union with something much bigger than me.
What happened?
Looking back on that defining moment, I now realize what I was doing as I cried against the apparent injustice. I asked questions that led nowhere. And the word I used kept me caught in my upset.
This word has always been used by humans to try to make sense of their life. It is asked to relieve pain and suffering, but it actually does the exact opposite. This word always takes you down a spiraling vortex of negative emotions, leading to nowhere.
What is that word asked through the millennia?
WHY?
Why did this happen? Why am I such an idiot? Why does he get everything he wants and I have to wait? Why? Why? Why?
Can you see why asking “Why” always leads to more problems (pun intended)? If you come up with an answer, it is usually at your own expense. You become the victim because you are looking outside of yourself for the reason this happened.
Let’s look at the word itself, and you will see a clue about its potential destructiveness when it is directed at yourself or your life. Take a moment and write the word “why” on a piece of paper. Use all lower case letters, then sit back and let me know when you see it.
Did you write the letters “w-h-y” with the curly part of the letter “y” going back toward the front of the word? Most people do. And that is the clue. The very letters that make up the word “why” turn back in on themselves! Asking “Why?” always turns the answer back toward the question.
Whenever you play the victim’s role, you forget your power.
Instead of asking “Why?” that loving energy so many years ago showed me a different question to ask. It also reminded me I was safe, worthy, and well-loved. As long as I started from that place of worthiness, I could do nothing wrong. I remained in my power to choose and create. The empowering question is also one word, but it leads to expansion and growth, not despair.
What one word should you use to tap into your creative powers, heal yourself and your world?
HOW?
How can I learn to ride my bike now? (get my brother to help me and try) How can I do this better? How can I become the person I dream of being?
Asking “How?” taps into your creative juices. Your mind immediately begins to supply answers to questions starting with “How” and it liberates you to approach problems with a solution mindset. It also taps into your own self-worth because it forces you to lean on yourself, instead of blaming the outside world. As you take steps toward your goal, you reinforce your own creative abilities to become more.
Train yourself to ask empowering questions that lead to expansion and growth.
It transforms your worldview.
It all starts with your self-talk, the conversations you have with yourself. Notice if the tone is harsh and judgmental. Write down the thoughts swirling in your head, take a moment, then ask yourself if there is another way to look at them. How can you accept what happened and still be whole?
Retell the story from your new perspective and notice how it makes you feel. Take responsibility for your words and actions, and forgive yourself. What have you learned? How would you have acted now that you have these insights?
Everyone is on a journey of discovery. When you learn to stand in your worthiness instead of victimhood, a shift occurs internally. From the other side of the shift, you see the situation from a different perspective that allows other possibilities to arise.
Without the training wheels of self-doubt, judgment, and lack, you can fly!
To your prosperity,
Kathryn
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