Hello Empowered Wayers!
Thank you for being here, opening these emails and commenting.
At the end of each year, I do a review of what I created, what I learned, and what I can improve. So here goes:
I posted consistently on this platform and my readership has grown :-)
The same cannot be said for social media :-(
I walked the labyrinth in Chartres Cathedral and it changed my life :-)
My daughter got married and I now have a son-in-law :-)
I walked among the Standing Stones outside of Aberdeen, Scotland and wasn’t transported to Outlander :-) and :-(
So many wonderful experiences and insights about myself and my place in the world.
What is Reconciliation?
The word “reconcile” means “to bring back together, to accept, to harmonize.” As Mark Nepo, a philosopher and poet, describes reconciliation in his book, Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What is Sacred:
Being human, we are constantly broken apart by experience.
To reconcile our humanness means we are ever learning how to
accept our suffering and to restore our Wholeness.
When you hold onto your past and use it to filter the present moment, you tend to recreate the same thing. Instead of seeing fresh possibilities and opportunities, the past becomes the lens through which you interpret the present moment.
“I can never make money online, I tried and it didn’t work.”
“I’m destined to be alone.”
“I hate my job, but what else can I do?”
Instead of repeating the past, why not reconcile it with your present state of being?
How to Reconcile the Past and Create in the Present
When I realized that my suffering and anxiety were all created in my mind, it felt as if a heavy weight was lifted. The veil of illusion dissolved and I discovered that I was here to experience the range and depth of emotions of being human.
When I wrote my first novel, “Heart Dancing: A Story Alchemy Adventure,” I embedded a five step process of reconciliation in the story. I named the process “Story Alchemy” because the old story is transformed from lead to gold.
A short summary of the steps are:
1. Recognize-when you are living inside a story that you created. Awareness is always the first step, because you can never change what you are blind to in each moment. To help you recognize your limiting stories, remind yourself that “All events are neutral, until I give them meaning.” This statement reminds you that you created the meaning.
2. Realize–it all begins with you. You are the source of the stories you create. Since you are the creator, you can change those stories that no longer serve you. Since all events are neutral, there are multiple choices about their meaning.
3. Responsibility–when you look at why you believed that way (instead of this way) about someone or something, you made a choice. No one else made that choice. It’s up to you to make a different choice if you want to live a different life. As you take responsibility for the stories you created, ask yourself if you know the backstory of the people involved. When you can honestly say that you don’t know all the factors and you realize that the other person was acting from their stories, a space opens to reframe your story.
4. Reframe–there is always a different interpretation of the event or person. Ask if your story is based on love or fear. If your previous story was based on fear, you will never discover love in that version. Reframe the events to reflect love and you will free yourself from the past. You may have to love yourself for creating the old story, but that’s ok, because now you know you are the creator.
5. Release–the story you created served its purpose and now it is time to let it go. Forgiveness is essential. The release isn’t from what the other person did or said; it’s when you release the old story and create a new one that you can move forward.
Try it for yourself.
Take one story that you still tell yourself and run it through the five steps of Story Alchemy. Write down the old story in detail and name the emotions attached to it. Then go through the first three steps of Story Alchemy (recognize, realize, and responsibility) and allow yourself to observe the story from a neutral view. Pretend the old story is a specimen you have found that you are examining. Make a note of your insights and perceptions.
Take a break before you dive into Step four - Reframe. Shake off the stale energy from the old story and drink some water. When you return to Story Alchemy, you want your energy to be clear and clean. Create your new story and feel it’s power. Write it down and memorize it, so that when your mind throws up the old story, you can substitute the new version that empowers you.
Rinse and Repeat.
Please let me know how this process works for you. And Happy New Year!
Blessings,
Kathryn
Reconcile 2023 Before Creating 2024