Dear Empowered Wayers:
Thank you for being here, reading these words. My goal is to show you the decision you make in every moment that creates your reality.
I learned this lesson the hard way. For too many years that lead into decades, I listened to those around me and ignored my inner knowing. I fell into the hamster wheel of expectation, striving, and judgment. No matter how hard I tried to find satisfaction and peace, something always disrupted my plans.
It wasn’t until I was told by an infertility Doctor that “nothing is wrong with you,” that I had to surrender my intellectual approach to God. Clearly, I was not going to become a mom until I stopped controlling the process. The fear of being childless was no longer my North Star. Instead, trust in God for my journey allowed me to feel loved.
I moved from anger, frustration, and fear to acceptance, calm, and love.
The Two Paths
Before she ran for President, Marianne Williamson was an author, speaker, and student of A Course in Miracles. Her best-selling book, “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’” introdced millions of people to the teachings of Love. The following quote from “A Return to Love” describes the two paths of love or fear.
“A Course in Miracles says that only love is real: “The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.” When we think with love, we are literally co-creating with God. And when we’re not thinking with love, since only love is real, then we’re actually not thinking at all. We’re hallucinating. And that’s what this world is: a mass hallucination, where fear seems more real than love. Fear is an illusion. Our craziness, paranoia, anxiety and trauma are literally all imagined. That is not to say they don’t exist for us as human beings. They do. But our fear is not our ultimate reality, and it does not replace the truth of who we really are. Our love, which is our real self, doesn’t die, but merely goes underground.”
The two paths in every moment are fear— or — love. That’s it. It’s that simple. So why do we make it so complicated?
Because we look to the outside world to guide us. That’s the trap I fell into while dealing with infertility. I allowed science to replace what I knew to be true about me. And I suffered mightly because of that choice to believe in fear instead of love.
After I surrendered my anger, hurt, frustration, and need to control to God, I was filled with peace. I no longer felt as if I was fighting my way out of my situation. Instead, I relaxed and listened to the inner guidance that was always there, but I had shoved underground.
The Choice in Every Moment
Time and space creates duality. Hot or cold, weak or strong, love or fear. What you choose to focus on and believe is how you create your reality. Fear always separates you from God or whatever you consider to be your higher Source. Love always expands your awareness of God.
As you become mindful of your choices between fear or love, notice what happens when love is the choice. It may not be immediate or dramatic, but if you are consistently choosing love, more of the same energy will flow into your life.
The same is true for fear. The more you doom-scroll on social media, the more you will see that amplifies your fear. The algorithims are designed to enhance your choices. The same is true for the choice you make in every moment.
How to Transform Fear
It takes mindfulness and discipline to retrain yourself. I have had many moments of allowing fear to grow, to the point I was having trouble sleeping. That’s when I remembered that I had another choice and fear wasn’t real.
I created a short meditation that will help you step out of fear. It’s called “Step Left and Choose Again” and it’s available on Insight Timer. It’s a reminder that you always have a choice.
Another useful tool is to become aware in the moment that you have falled into fear. Your body will always tell you when this happenes, because you begin to feel stressed, nervous, or angry. When your muscles tense and your breathing becomes shallow, you are in fear. When your vision narrows and you want to fight or run away, fear is at the controls.
Recognize it, step away from the trigger, and focus on breathing deeply. You have to return your body to normal status or homeostatis. Deep, intentional breathing is the fastest way to calm your nervous system, interrupt the fight-flight response. Box Breathing is a useful technique. Breathe in for the count of four, hold your breath for the count of four, release for the count of four, hold your breath for the count of four. Repeat several times until you feel your body is calm.
If your mind is swirling with negative and fearful thoughts and you beome aware of it, try this mindfulness technique. Center and breathe deeply several times, then identify:
five things you can see;
four things you can touch;
three things you can hear;
two things you can smell; and
one thing you can taste.
By focusing on your physical senses, your mind has to move away from fearful thoughts. This process also demonstrates a greate truth:
You can’t be in fear or love at the same time.
As you become more adept at moving from fear to love, you will discover that love is the path of growth, expansion, and gratitude. As you change your inner world, you show up differently. The ripple effects are infinite and impossible to predict.
Please let me know in the comments what changes for you as you move and live from love’s path. As for my journey, we adopted a beautiful baby girl who is now a beautiful woman creating her own life.
Blessings,
Kathryn
There are Two Paths Before You